Nobody actually calls me Andrew.
I’m not an adjunct intro to poetry professor at a community college, either. In fact, unlike most of Academia, I spent some years en media res, rather than pursuing a pedagogical theory. I once knew a guy who wrote an entire book about a little middle-eastern girl working as a goatherd in the fourteenth century. That bastard might have done some research on the topic, but seriously? That’s idiotic.
Better just call me Andy.
Action is only 10% of the adventure; the other 90% is editing.
-Cap’n Noskivvies.
Repeat after me: “Plausible deniablity.” 
Doves are really just albino pigeons. Choose your headwear accordingly. 
What a long, strange trip it’s been.
What People Say
“Tell them I say you’re nice, okay?”
Lyda from the grocery store
“I don’t care what you write, just don’t make me look stupid.”
Anonymous
“I’m calling the cops if you don’t knock that off!”
Next door neighbor
Andrew Tomacelli 