She told me that every guy had a picture of himself, posing with a fish. Assuming myself an exception to the rule, obviously, I scrolled through my pics. Sure enough, there was a photo of me posing with a fish.
Tag Archives: sobriety
Shopping sober
Living on a steady flow of high-octane ethyl alcohol for half of my life, my digestive system adapted to process drag racing fuel, not the nutritive pyramid of the four basic food groups.
My Higher Power
Asking an omnipotent being to intercede with my petty personal problems just seems arrogant. If I trust that it has a perfect plan, then who am I to question it?
The sin tax
Fireball was my latest thing, not because I liked the cloying sweetness of the cinnamon flavored syrup, but because I needed the respite of the cheap corn whiskey. The grocery store service counter sold the little bangers for ninety-nine cents a pop, plus applicable taxes. The sin tax.
All the tiny bottles
A bartender once told me that there were exactly nine drops left in every “empty” liquor bottle. I don’t doubt the accuracy of that statement. I’m sure that the brilliant mind responsible for this revelation was undoubtedly a drunk in the process of reluctantly drying out.
Andrew Tomacelli 